Loving Leia

Star Wars has been on my mind lately (When hasn't it?), mostly because the films were recently released for the first time on Blu-ray. (And Carrie Fisher has been losing weight in some Jenny Craig commercials lately. Good for you, CF!)

I remember seeing The Empire Strikes Back in a theater that had a decorated proscenium. It was thrilling to see it in such a "fancy" theater. I remember feeling so confused and sad that Han was frozen and (at least to my 4-5 year old self) probably dead. I have a vague recollection of seeing the original film in the theater also -- probably at a second-run theater back then. I do clearly remember the SCROLL. Those yellow letters that were so immense and the music so dramatic and blaringly loud. Insanely intense and exciting!

As for Return of the Jedi -- I saw that one 14 times in the movie theater. My mom would take me, my brother, and some of my friends and drop us off at the theater with a backpack full of Chinese buns and juice boxes.

Other than comic books, Star Wars has had the most significant effect on my nerd quotient and has been such a huge touchstone in my life. I had the soundtrack, the books, the toys, the lunch boxes, the t-shirts, the bedsheets (Empire ones of Bespin Cloud City...the memories!) everything that a typical Star Wars fan would have back then. I even did a school paper on Star Wars and what being a "fan" meant. (I cut up a picture book and used the photos in my report. Gah!)

But above all...my love of Leia.

I was convinced that I was going to grow up and marry Carrie Fisher. (I'm sure I wasn't the only little boy that had the same dream.) In Episode IV and V -- she was the princess, the one that you were supposed to love. She was feisty, plucky, and could handle a blaster -- how could you not? (**And yes, when she married Paul Simon I had a bit of a breakdown. I think I cried and threw my uncle's Simon and Garfunkel records out the window. Ok, I'm exaggerating, but not by much.)


And then in Return of the Jedi -- the gold bikini.

Mind you, I was 7 or 8 years old at the time. But I felt like I had become a man.

I remember thinking that she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was just stunning and breathtaking -- she was the same princess, but even more so.

(**While I was in London in 2007, I was lucky enough to check out the Star Wars: The Exhibition and visit "the outfit". Awesome.**)

The "Leia-in-gold-bikini / Slave Leia" phenomenon is not unique. There are likely thousands upon thousands of nerds and ("non-nerds") who have fallen under Leia's spell. I'm sure plenty have thanked Jabba the Hutt for being such a playa.








Pop culture has addressed this in films and TV shows. Most notably in a Friends episode where Ross confesses to Rachel about his fantasy (she puts on Leia's Episode IV white robes at first, and then gets it right with the gold bikini -- though she leaves the cinnamon buns in).

The film Fanboys is about a bunch of nerds trying to get their dying friend into see the Phantom Menace (ugh...what a downer...and ugh...what a film). Kristen Bell (one of my more recent celeb crushes) dons the gold bikini at one point as well. (I am going to refrain from going on a major tangent, but just know that Veronica Mars was one of my all time favorite TV series -- one that ended much too soon. If an Arrested Development/ Family Guy/ Futurama/ Buffy style resurrection as a mini-series, webseries, comic book, and/or film ever happens -- sign me up to be the first in line. **Tangent two -- I did get to meet her for a millisecond at Comic Con and she did sign something for me. Blog post for another day!)

And geek goddess Olivia Munn (former co-host of G4's Attack of the Show and Daily Show correspondent) put on the slave gear at Comic Con with well received results.

Now, you've got Jennifer Aniston, Kristen Bell, and Olivia Munn in the same iconic outfit --- all extremely gorgeous and sexy women ... and yet, they don't even come close.

So, what's missing? Well, obviously they aren't Leia. They lack a certain Leia-ness about them that only Carrie Fisher circa 1975 -1984 had. The fake-British accent that drifted in and out, the mad Speeder Bike skills, the Hutt-choking chutzpah -- all elements that make up Leia.

From the first time we see her as a help-seeking-hologram to the last shot of Leia celebrating and Yub-Yub-ing it up with the Ewoks -- for us nerds, she epitomizes what a woman should be. A woman who at times needs our help, and yet ends up saving us after all (especially if we get frozen in Carbonite). A woman that has the sass and gumption to kick-ass and claim the respect and decorum due her royalty. A woman who can throw on a uniform in the trenches and stun us with her sexuality.

Like other superheroines who end up fighting the good fight in skimpy outfits -- sexuality can become the greatest weapon as well as one's most vulnerable weakness. But while the enemy is distracted by super assets, they usually get a super ass-kicking. (**see also: Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Spider-Woman, Buffy, Cylon Six, etc.)

"Leia-in-gold-bikini" has a place in nerdhistory forever. Grown men are reduced to jibbering idiots and rightfully so. A powerful woman who doesn't have to compromise her brains, brawn, or beauty may be the strongest Force in the universe.

*images sourced from around the Web. Lotsa Leia love out there.